Your mouth is God's brothel.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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