Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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