Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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