so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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