Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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