just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
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his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
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Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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