Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
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At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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