there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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