I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
