i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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