I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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