So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
