i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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