Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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