"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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