hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize