how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize