If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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