when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
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Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
His nipple licking is glorious
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