so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
