Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
