dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
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Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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