You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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