you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
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I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
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I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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