i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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