Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
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He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
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Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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