Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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