Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize