Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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