Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
it was like eating out sand paper
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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