They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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