I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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