yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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