True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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