I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
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Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
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OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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