I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
