when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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