I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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