She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
last night I used snow as a chaser
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