Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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