I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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