soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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