I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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