Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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