He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
