im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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