Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we made out on top of his cat.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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