shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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