Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
