I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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