dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
