my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize