so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
