He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
