dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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