Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
