Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize