youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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