I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Randomize