when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
